Monday, July 20, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Do you know who this is?
Yes, this is Morpheus.

This is your last chance. (choose a pill by clicking on it)
After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

Or….

You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I’ll show you just how deep the rabbit-hole goes

(Welcome to the next generation)

Posted in OMG | No Comments »

Friday, July 17, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Moral of the story:
You can let your man jackoff and fantasize with porn, or you can watch as he ACTUALLY fuggs some other chick in yo damn living room.

The choice is yours.
Don’t give your man a proper and healthy outlet and see what cho azz get.

By the looks of this chick no wonder dude was watchin porn.
He probably hadn’t touched her in 2 years…

Here’s Rachel Ferrara.
When the Wisconsin woman, 23, arrived home from work yesterday afternoon, she discovered her boyfriend “watching pornography on the TV and masturbating,” according to a La Crosse Police Department report.

Chagrined, Ferrara argued with Christopher Strabley, 24, called him a “fucking cheater,” and kicked him in the groin. Ferrara then allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed Strabley in the abdomen. Strabley told cops that she then told him, “You deserve it,” while continuing to slash away (Strabley eventually escaped and drove himself to the hospital, where he was treated and released). When confronted by police, Ferrara told an officer, “I think I hurt him bad.” Ferrara, who was charged with felony reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct, was booked into the La Crosse County jail, where she posed for the below mug shot.

Posted in Ignant White Activity | No Comments »

Friday, July 17, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

This Shyt is in my Ignant Activity files because if you’re Black and named Kunta Kente….you have no business killing another Black dude….especially one with an ignant ass Black name like Deolondis.

I mean if it was some random white guy at least you could use the excuse of “Hey..I was watching Roots and just lost control”. Hey Plumpdumpling can you ask Kamram if there’s such a thing as the “Roots Defense”?

The moral of this story is: that Mu Fuggin Kunta can run…whole damn police dept couldn’t catch his ass.
I think they should chop off his damn foot for running….but hey that’s just my opinion.

Here’s the story….

A man accused of waiting outside a Mooretown convenience store for a man to exit and gunning him down as others looked on, surrendered Wednesday evening, authorities said.

Surveillance footage at the C&C Liquor and Grocery in the 5100 block of Broadway Avenue captured Deolondis Johnson, 21, being shot at least twice in the upper torso just before 9 a.m. Wednesday, Shreveport police said.

He was pronounced dead at LSU Hospital in Shreveport shortly afterward.

After running from police all day, Kunta Kente Green, 23, of the 4800 block of Kennedy Street, turned himself in to police about 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, according to Shreveport police Cpl. Bill Goodin.

Green, who was booked into Shreveport City Jail on one count of second-degree murder, “stated that he committed the offense of murder in the second degree on the deceased victim,” Shreveport City Jail online booking records state. He is being held on a $250,000 bond.

Investigators said they believe the shooting is an escalation of an encounter between Johnson and a group of people, which included Green, on Tuesday night.

An hourslong standoff at Green’s residence that morning proved fruitless when Shreveport Police Department’s Special Response Team stormed the house but could not locate the suspect.

At about 3:30 p.m. — a few hours after police called off the standoff — Green’s house somehow caught fire, destroying 15 percent of the structure, according to the Shreveport Fire Department.

“Based upon my years of experience, there appeared to be multiple points of origin,” Chief Fred Sanders, assistant to the fire chief, said of the fire. He added that a K-9 indicated that it detected the presence of hydrocarbons, which are found in most liquid accelerants, Sanders said.

However, fire investigators had not determined the cause of the fire as of Wednesday night.

“We’re treating it as a crime scene,” Shreveport police Sgt. Carl Taylor said, noting that, again, no one was discovered inside.

Henry Calhoun was sitting outside a nearby pay laundry with friends when he heard three gunshots.

“I didn’t see anyone,” the 53-year-old said. “We all started running for cover. At the time we didn’t know where the shots were coming from. They were loud and were knew they were close. I was making sure I didn’t get shot.”

Posted in Ignant Negro Activity | No Comments »

Friday, July 17, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

ATL stand up.

Even in jail troubled rapper (who is the proclaimed King of the South) T.I.P.
has given his main shawty the gift that all women love for her Bday.

No Not Birthday Sex…..Yep, diamonds and a Fuggin lot of them.

Even though I can’t stand Tiny’s voice she seems like a hood chick with smarts a.k.a the lady hustla.
She seems to hold it down for TI no matter what and will knock the fugg out a Bytch that doesn’t know their place as the side chick.

Damn what more can a dude want….she’s a keeper in my book except for her voice, but I can fix that with a damn spork in her vocal cords.

I guess TI was down on one knee as he sent this from lockup…I don’t even want to know what else was goin on while he was down there.

Peep  the nails ladies…Wow she’s holding TI down on her nails…nice.

Step your nail game up ladies, lol.
You can’t rock that busted hands look forever.

Then to go along with the ring..a lil something for her neck.

Posted in CelebStuff | 1 Comment »

Thursday, July 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Whitney Houston was spotted in London looking much better than in her “Where’s Bobbi?” Crack smoking days the past.

And check out the new Album Cover:

New Rumor: Katt Williams has filed for Bankruptcy

Damn you mean to tell me that Whitney & Bobby can smoke 80 Million in crack and not go broke, but Katt can’t smoke weed to not go broke.
Maybe he just forgot which bank he put his money in…that happens you know.

Our favorite “Young & The Restless” star Victoria Rowell  was married in a small ceremony and Sam L Jackson gave her away.

I’ve seen her many times walking up the upper west side near Columbia University on Broadway
(Never spoke to her…no offense.. she wasn’t famous enough, lol)

Best Wishes to her.. here’s some rehearsal foolery (looks like she’s got mad Rhythm!!)

Frankie’s gotta man ya’ll.
Awwww they look so Ignant together….how sweet!!

Who told Frankie these circa 1999 Prince sleeves were A-OK to rock in ‘09?
Are those shades dude is wearing from Forever21 or Rainbow?
Yoooooo…my great grandmoms had that very same wig she’s rockin!

Hey Mango folks may start to get the wrong impression and think all Atlanta Black folks act a fool.

Dame Dash has a hot new ride to get around NYC:

Queen Latifah has been spotted in Brooklyn, working on the set of her new film Just Wright.

Guess who else has been spotted in Brooklyn…it’s Common…I wonder why though?

I’ve got it… they’re in the same movie

Posted in CelebStuff | 2 Comments »

Thursday, July 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

That’s Michael Steele’s new slogan to get people to join the republican party.

That and the fact that he said  I’ve got the fried chicken and potato salad makes me cringe.

This guy tries tooo hard to act Black. He seems to think that acting Black means to act hood.
I’ll be the first to admit that Black folks damn near have a monopoly on acting Hood.
But to act Hood isn’t acting Black..it’s just acting Ignant.

And if he says another Hip-Hop term like Bling…Bling again I WILL STAB him in the neck with a Spork!

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

Thursday, July 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

It seems that a factory worker has discovered a new way to die…

By Falling into a VAT of Chocolate.

Soooooooo…….a chocolate Mu Fugga dies in chocolate tub. I can’t even make Shyt like this up folks.

Yeah…Yeah…you’ve told me a million times already…. I’m going to Hell for this one!

(video not working for FFox users, it’s displayed as a white box but works fine for IE users…sorry)

CAMDEN, N.J. - A man who prayed for a job for weeks dies in a tragic accident at a chocolate factory in Camden, N.J.
Police were called to a warehouse and manufacturing facility on the 700 block of North 36th Street around 10:45 a.m. Wednesday for a report of a man who had fallen into hot chocolate.The Camden County prosecutor’s office identified the victim as 29-year-old Vincent Smith II of Camden. He was a temporary worker at the Cocoa Services Inc. plant.Smith was loading chunks of raw chocolate into a melting tank, but he slipped and fell into the tank.Co-workers shut off the valve and tried to reach him, but failed.The moral of this story is that you dumb asses that are running around praying for Shyt like crazy need to stop.
White Jesus is busy catering to me and doesn’t need your ignant ass prayers distracting him
You dumb asses that are praying for Shyt like extra biscuits, husband/boyfriend, or a car need to beware.

Cuz your dumb ass is like to to choke to death on that extra biscuit, get beat to death by hubby, or drive that car off a fuggin cliff.

I know this is a sad time for the family but, WTF is up with his relative with the huge ass shades asking I need to know what happened?
His ass died in chocolate that’s what happened…what part wasn’t you clear about.
He FELL. The end. Can I help your ignant ass with any other questions?

Damn dude wasn’t even getting benefits cuz he was temp. Shyt if I can die at some Shyt I’m at least getting life insurance from them and overtime.

Let’s be real for a second….Anyone else think that this dude ain’t fall and actually jumped his big ass in to eat the chocolate.
(Yeah…Yeah.. Imma burn in hell, you sound like a broken record …for the younger generation or a scratched CD)

But in any case I’m not eating chocolate for fear of find little niblets of this dude in my snickers bar.

This guy tried to jump in and save him…

He gets mad props for trying to save dude.

But unlike Thickcrust… I ain’t eating any melted chocolate that touched this guy.

Posted in Food, OMG | 1 Comment »

Thursday, July 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

So you think you can dance?

After watching this…The answer will be NO, you can’t dance.
Because this Mu Fugger gots S-O-U-L….

Now  Dance I say…Dance!

The crazy part is that Tomur’s moms is just chillin…
knitting Thickcrust a super special “I love you” sweater while her son is BA-RAKE-ING!

Dude is going off with the hammerdance and she’s soooo used to
her son and Thickcrust dancing their narrow asses all over the house she ignores the Foolery going on all around her.

Posted in PeopleHumor, Music | No Comments »

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I never knew this but I’ve been helping women sleep better  for years.
I was years ahead of the medical community on this one.

Hell….I’ve been Kush’in women since I was a teenager!!!!
I know plenty of women who have a lace sack near their nightstand, but a Kush damn sure ain’t in it.

Posted in PeopleHumor, OMG | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

When I was in NY (I’m not gonna front) I used to listen to Wendy.
And I’m still a fan of her radio show.

But listening to her and watching her are two different ass things.
I mean her TV show to me was a train wreck and a half of awkward moments, massive weaves, overly huge breasts in tight blouses and stilettos that she could hardly walk in.

Here’s a pic from her TVshow launch party

(Personally she’s not my type. I wouldn’t hit her with a brick)

Believe me I’m all for a little of any of what I just named but she went wayyyy overboard with all of it and at the same time.
Her show almost was on E or Bravo or one of those dumb ass channels but ended up on Fox for the Pilot and was not picked up again.
And now is on CoonTV BET (what a surprise).

But in any event, Congrats to another Black woman who is doing her thing…

Hey Wendy…
“How U Doin’ ?”

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Submitted by Alex Jones (The best IT Mgr ever… next to me of course):

(Click on image for larger size picture)

And you thought playing videogames was a waste of time! The guys over at MarioMarathon are currently holding a live session, playing through all of the main entries in the Mario series to raise money for charity. They began Monday morning with the original Super Mario Bros. and will continue throughout the weekend.

This is their second Mario Marathon. Last June they raised over $11,600 over a three day period, and they’re looking to top that this year.

You can watch the action live via webstream.
I am LOVING the Mario wall deco…A Must have for every game room!!!

Posted in tech, Random | No Comments »

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Who makes your list of celebs that are overrated?

Here’s my Top 5:
1. Kendra

This chick isn’t even hot.
I mean seriously she was born deformed…she has no ass at all.
Even if you close your eyes and pretended it’s still not there.
Have you heard a more annoying laugh?
That Shyt would drive me crazy…and try to stab her in the neck with a fuggin spork.
True that slutty chicks are always the most popular but she ain’t even slutty.
Lets be real she only did Hef.
Not Hef and his whole crew…so why is she always in the news.

2. Drake

First it was reported that he signed with Weezy for 4 mil and turned down a 2 Mil deal with another label.
So you tryna tell me without dropping an album he is getting Nas money
(yes I know Nas sucks ever since he sold his soul for cash to JayZ and joined his label).

Even though Nas sucks he’s still like 9 albums deep so his deal with DefJam was for about 4 to 5 mil.

Why is everyone riding this dude’s sacks?
I mean I rock that best I ever had song but it ain’t like the hottest song I’ve ever heard.
At least when Mase was coming on to BadBoy he was on like 10 remixes and was getting paid lovely before he dropped an album.
This dude hasn’t shown me much of anything other than his barber is tight with the clippers.
3. Brooke Hoagan

Fellas…Just because she’s a blonde with decent size tits please stop making her the second coming of Angelina Jolie cuz she aint.
And why does she think she can sing?

Please White Jesus make her stop doing covers of good songs and mixtape remixes with Black rappers.
There’s nothing a Black Rapper loves more than a blonde, its like crack to them and is irresistible.
Because you know one of them Fuggers is gonna get her preggers and then….
Whatchu gonna do when the old ass feeble Hulkamania comes for U???
4. The Dream and Christina Milian

In Vibe’s last final issue he’s got her more than half neked in the damn mag.
I love a redbone like the next dude
No amount of help from the Dream or AudioTone or 2Pac remixes will help her upcoming album.
I’m sick of seeing pics of these two all over the internet.
It was cool at first but now…. lets wrap it up.
Plus she’s not even remotely hot.

5. You can’t call these fools celebs but overrated yes.
They make my list simply because some people actually think these folks are real journalists.

If Fox news was around at key moments in history it would look something like this:

(The Civil War)

(The Revolutionary War)

(Ancient Greece)

Here’s some of the requirements you need to work for fox:

Mental retardation
Raised by the Clan
Morally Bankrupt
Social Outcast
Picked on in school and forced to give someone your lunch or lunch money daily
Journalism School dropout
Ignant as all Hell
Lost virginity by paying a woman in cash
Parents were 1st cousins

Posted in CelebStuff, rant | 2 Comments »

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I’ve had my techs working on an issue that caused some users problems when posting comments.

They said it’s fixed (yah…right…sure; I believe you)

So if anyone encounters any issues please let a brother know.

Um….Isn’t that like the spookiest hat you have Evah seen!!!
But hey the IRS is on a brother’s back so I have to hire cheap techs… no matter what kind of hat they are wearing.

Posted in PSA | 1 Comment »

Monday, July 13, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Mario and Sean Garret was spotted out and about in ATL this weekend.

Word on the street is that Mario was in town to see his new boo Mango.

Mango… don’t have me knock the Fugg out of Mario!!
(Um..I’m not gonna do it now….I mean like after I’ve had time to it the gym cuz dude has been bulking up over the past 6 months).

Hey Mario…Why you tryna break up a happy home huh?

Posted in CelebStuff | 3 Comments »

Monday, July 13, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Here Michael is looking over old home vidz MJJ was a crazy cool dude who loved his friends and family.

Posted in CelebStuff | 3 Comments »

Monday, July 13, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Side Note: Jack, Thanks for the support
I have been thinking of pitching a show to a cable TV network for a few weeks now.

Now onto business..

Plumpdumpling, it seems our boy Jack thinks that I update my blog too much.

So you know that I had to investigate this accusation….

First I looked at my blog stats:  Total of 4,000 hits in just 12 days.
Then I looked at Jack’s blog stats: Total of 20 hits in the past 7 months

On a bad day it seems I’m getting over 200 hits per day. So I think its safe to say folks are reading my blog for sure.
On a good day it seems Jack’s blog gets 1 hit .

Then I looked at Jack’s blog:
(click on image for larger view)

After looking at his site I can only come up with 2 possible answers to why he feels this way.

1) Jack feels that Blogs should only be updated once a year like his (last entry Dec 2008).
Jack this thinking is incorrect.
You can actually blog as much as you like.

2) He’s still thinking about what to blog about and it’s just taking 7 months plus to decide.

One of my readers has informed me that my site has started hitting a few corporate firewall www blacklists.
Damn I’m getting up there like youtube, lol.

I have fists of Fury…

Lol, I still gots maaaaadddddluv for ya Jack!
(DO NOT START CRYING!! Man up. You still my boy!)

Posted in rant | 2 Comments »

Monday, July 13, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Here’s a quick recap of this past weekend:

Ex-106 & Park host Free attended the Battle For The Crown Artist Showcase at M2 in NYC.

Looks like the rock she was hiding under did some damage to her face.
And I’m just guessing she didn’t have time to do anything with her hair.

JD was there on the 1’s and 2’s as a guest DJ
(Damn he hasn’t been spotted with Janet in months I guess it’s a wrap)

So Jon and Kate is a wrap. And you know what that means…
Jumpoff Time!!

Meet Jon’s 23 year old Shawty

participated in the PepsiMax Bullrun 2009 event in New York City this weekend.

Kellwood Co., one of the largest apparel manufacturers in the U.S., could be forced to file for bankruptcy soon, after it failed to reach an agreement with its bondholders, people familiar with the matter said.

The St. Louis-based company, which employs roughly 2,000 people and owns such popular clothing brands as Phat Farm, Sag Harbor and Vince, was taken private in February 2008 by buyout firm Sun Capital Partners for $542 million.

Alonza Moorning had his Summer Groove festival in Miami and here’s a few notable celebs who attended.

Old Ass DefJam Music guy Kevin Liles and his new young ass fiance Ericka Jones.

(I guess the only way to stay recession free for some ladies these days is to hook up with someone with money)

Gabrielle Union and possibly her Shawty newly divorced DWade (disregard the groupie love he’s getting)

We haven’t seen A. Houston in a while NY folks (thank the Lawd especially on the Knicks)

It’s a wrap…DAG and his wife are splitsville
Best line of the day….

“Me NO love you long time..”

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Monday, July 13, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Ok, I know some folks are gonna say I’m on that Shyt again.
but seriously I made my first skin bleaching appointment for next week.

And………………………………………………………Go:

• So none of you dudes are remotely straight huh?
• I guess Coonery, Shuckin’, Jivin’ and  TomFoolery is cool to today’s Black youth…
• I’m thinking MickeyD’s should change the golden arches to a rainbow
• This is yet another reason why I don’t go to church
• Riddle: Why does it take women so long to realize that guy they have been dating is actually a gay singing buffoon
• I think the 400 pound cameraman caught the Holy Ghost and started shouting half way through the song
• I seriously doubt this Shyt will win an American Music Award

I’m thinking MickeyD’s is starting to become racist in a way so I called up my boy whose an investigator to look into this Shyt and he uncovered some shocking info…

He loves chicken way too damn much…and if he whips out a slice of watermelon Imma have to pop a cap in his coon ass.

Posted in Ignant Negro Activity, Food, Random | 1 Comment »

Saturday, July 11, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

because without it… My screen wouldn’t look like this:

(click image for larger view)

Posted in rant, tech | No Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

We’ve discussed this Shyt before but ya’ll just don’t Fuggin give a damn do you?

Let’s just get into this…no intro needed.

And………………………………………………..Go

I guess ugly as hell is the theme for this party.

I’m not even gonna act brand new.
And fellas don’t front; you would all do the same thing I’m about to say!

If I was in a club with my peeps (and you know how I be…all tipsy as hell and shyt) and this chick passed by.
I would kick it to her..You know I would have to walk up to her all GC and sauve and the first thing out of my mouth to her would be “Damn look at them Tiddys!!! I’d be rockin them thangs like crazy.
I’m talkin bout suckin on those twinz like some neckbones that was sitting in Collard Greens.

On the real…. You know it would probably take me about 15 minutes of kicking it to her before I even looked up at her face.
But when I did I’d probably bust out my Rambo knife and try to defend myself  again this Fuggin Sasquatch.

Fellas don’t act like I’m the only one who Fugged a chick cuz she had crazy T&A and a busted face.
And Ladies don’t act like you ain’t neva Fugged an ugly grizzly ass dude because you heard or though he was packin a crazy ass Willy Wonka.

My condolences for those women who stayed with and are still with that grizzly ass ugly dude [with all your girlfriends be making fun of you] just for some good Willy Wonka.

I know Kokonut is gonna be all over me for this but you do realize that this is a West Indian Club right? (I’m not saying they are Jamaican. I’m just saying there are some Jamaican folks up in this Shyt. And you know there’s some Haitians and Trinidadians in the mix).

This party had to be Fuggin Stankin.
I can promise you that this place smelled like Guinness Stout, fried bologna, old mayonnaise, fried cod fish, wet dog, the planet Uranus, someone’s anus and an upper lip after a Dirty Sanchez.

I mean this club probably smelled like a sandwich that you lost 3 months ago and then found it yesterday on the back shelf in the fridge.

I mean this party had to smell like highly enriched weapons grade uranium.
I mean this party had to smell like that guy in the empty subway car.

Lastly…

There sooooo much wrong with this picture my brain is freezing.

OMG…she needed to leave her GUT at the coat check or something.
Did she just have a baby? Not like last year …I mean like 12 minutes before this pic was taken.

WTF is that on her eyes?

She looks just like that muppet

Posted in rant, PeopleHumor | 1 Comment »